Happiness - It's Not That Difficult
You know when you don’t have it; that’s for sure. Marketing companies spend billions every year trying to sell it to us. We consumers spend billions of dollars every year searching for it. Researchers spend billions try to identify, quantity it, bottle it and then teach us how to “do it”. Happiness is the most sort after state in all of human history.
You know when you don’t have it; that’s for sure. Marketing companies spend billions every year trying to sell it to us. We consumers spend billions of dollars every year searching for it. Researchers spend billions try to identify, quantity it, bottle it and then teach us how to “do it”. Happiness is the most sort after state in all of human history.
We even sing songs about it; or the absence of it. So what is it - this sate of happiness? Is it something we are born with? Is it something we learn? Are some people unable to be happy, whilst others can flick it on at will?
Every day – in my capacity as a Life Coach - I ask clients what they want most from life. Without exception, they tell me they want a long, happy, life; or some variation of that.
Ask any parent what they want most for their kids and they will tell you they don’t care, so long as those kids are happy.
So, why is it that happiness is such a powerful lure for all of us? I guess we don’t have to think too hard to feel the pain of its absence – do we!. So how do we become happy? Or is it just the luck of the draw? Perhaps it is as simple as being born into a happy home; growing up in a happy environment.
It is certainly my professional experience that happiness seems to have a great deal to do with your early life experiences. If you had the good fortune to grow up in a happy environment, there is far more likelihood that your life experiences are predominantly happy ones. Of course, I have also found the opposite to be the case; sadness breeds sadness.
This makes sense. If you have lots of similar experiences to draw on through life it stands to reason that these will most likely become your default patterns. However, I don’t subscribe to the theory that it is “in your genes”; that is just too unhappy a thought to contemplate.
On the upside, I have found that it is possible to build the happiness state up and over time even the saddest of people can become happier. They do have to work harder at it of course, but it is still possible. I often liken it to learning to ride a bike. If you start early, it is there for life – even if you don’t hop on a bike for years on end. However, if you learn later in life, you have to overcome all of those “I can’t do this” messages coming from your other (negative) life experiences.
So, my advice to people is simple: if you want to be happy you are going to have to practice how to do it. Perhaps you could join a laughter club. Perhaps you could start hanging out with happy people; most of them will have ample happiness to share around. Perhaps you could recall those happy times in life and spend ten minutes every day replaying them over and over in your mind. It does work. Remember this, it takes twice as many muscles to frown as it does to smile.
We even sing songs about it; or the absence of it. So what is it - this sate of happiness? Is it something we are born with? Is it something we learn? Are some people unable to be happy, whilst others can flick it on at will?
Every day – in my capacity as a Life Coach - I ask clients what they want most from life. Without exception, they tell me they want a long, happy, life; or some variation of that.
Ask any parent what they want most for their kids and they will tell you they don’t care, so long as those kids are happy.
So, why is it that happiness is such a powerful lure for all of us? I guess we don’t have to think too hard to feel the pain of its absence – do we!. So how do we become happy? Or is it just the luck of the draw? Perhaps it is as simple as being born into a happy home; growing up in a happy environment.
It is certainly my professional experience that happiness seems to have a great deal to do with your early life experiences. If you had the good fortune to grow up in a happy environment, there is far more likelihood that your life experiences are predominantly happy ones. Of course, I have also found the opposite to be the case; sadness breeds sadness.
This makes sense. If you have lots of similar experiences to draw on through life it stands to reason that these will most likely become your default patterns. However, I don’t subscribe to the theory that it is “in your genes”; that is just too unhappy a thought to contemplate.
On the upside, I have found that it is possible to build the happiness state up and over time even the saddest of people can become happier. They do have to work harder at it of course, but it is still possible. I often liken it to learning to ride a bike. If you start early, it is there for life – even if you don’t hop on a bike for years on end. However, if you learn later in life, you have to overcome all of those “I can’t do this” messages coming from your other (negative) life experiences.
So, my advice to people is simple: if you want to be happy you are going to have to practice how to do it. Perhaps you could join a laughter club. Perhaps you could start hanging out with happy people; most of them will have ample happiness to share around. Perhaps you could recall those happy times in life and spend ten minutes every day replaying them over and over in your mind. It does work. Remember this, it takes twice as many muscles to frown as it does to smile.